


Cabin in the Woods

by Sapphire_sky



Series: The Lives of These Dorks [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-08
Updated: 2014-11-26
Packaged: 2018-02-12 06:41:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2099424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sapphire_sky/pseuds/Sapphire_sky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This series is about how Dirk and Dave meet John, Jade, Jake, Jane, and Dadbert.</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This series is about how Dirk and Dave meet John, Jade, Jake, Jane, and Dadbert.

Smoke was everywhere; your eyes, your lungs, everywhere. You taste coppery liquid in your mouth, but your head refuses to process your current situation. You lean back, and are poked in the back by a quite sharp peice of metal. You cough, and you at last realize quite the severity of your current place.

You had been riding in your dad's car with him and your brother, and someone had rear-ended your car. The car had hit the metal borders on the side of the road, and had flipped off the road, down a hill, and into the forest below.

You quickly unbuckle yourself and flop out of the tilted car, coughing. After a few breaths, you remember your brother and father stuck in the flaming car. You throw open the door and reach in, holding your breath. You feel his buckle and unclip it, pulling his small body out of the car and into your arms. You take another look into the car and pull out your sword with your free hand, your eyes desperately searching for your father within the smoke.

You can't see him, and you back away from the car, hacking your insides out. Dave starts to cough as well, and you are simply relieved that he's alive. You put your sword in its sheath on your belt and head into the forest without looking back. Dave was heavy and hard to carry, but you manage to get a good distance away from the crash before having to sit down on a log, panting.

You place Dave, who surprisingly hasn't said a word so far, on the log next to you. Dave looks up at you and opens his mouth to talk; or at least talk as much as a three-year-old can. "B-bro?" Dave started, coughing between every few word "where are we going?" You don't answer for a moment, orange eyes looking into bright red. "We're goin' wherever the wind takes us, lil' bro." You ruffle his pale blond hair, which looked almost white in the direct sunlight.

He nods, and the both of you sit in silence for about ten minutes, and you use that time to process how you were going to either live as forest people or find civilization again. You choose the second option.

"Come on, lil' man. Time to get goin'." You grab his hand and look around for any signs of anything, and see a white puff of smoke above the trees maybe a mile away. You feel your eyes light up, and you start in that direction, with Dave beside you. You walk for about fifteen minutes until you see a large log cabin. You hesitate, but walk up to the front and give the oak door two solid knocks, trying to make Dave and yourself look at least presentable.

After a few seconds and some muffled footsteps, the door is opened by a boy that looks the same age as you; maybe a few months younger. "Hold on one second," he tells you and turns around to face another inhabitant of the house. "Uncle Ebgert? There's someone at the door," he called, and an older man appears behind him. The man gives you an expectant look, and you know you're about to spill your guts.

"Uh, Mr. Egbert I assume," you pause, and the man gives a small nod, so you continue. "Me and my little bro, Dave, were in a car crash. I couldn't  find my dad, but I managed to get lil' D here out in time. I was just wondering if you had any room to spare, that we could stay for a few days. Just until we find out how to get home, if there is a home to return to." You can see the man processing what you've told him, and he  looks at you straight in the eye.

"I admire your courage, young man. Not many can get as far as you did in as little time. The nearest highway to here is at least five miles away. And of course. You can stay here for as long as you may need. Come on in," he steps back, and Dave clutches your hand tighter as you enter the cabin. You realize how many different shades of blue and green were in the house. The colors were everywhere. From the rug to their clothes, everything was either blue or green, except for the occasional spot of bright orange or red.

"I can't tell you how much we appreciate this," you smile at the man, and he smiles back. "How old are you, young man? And I'm afraid you forgot to mention your name." You mentally slap yourself for such a stupid mistake, "My name is Dirk, sir, and I am fourteen years old. Dave here is three, and will get into everything in arm's reach." Mr. Egbert nods, "Nice to meet you then, Dirk," he reached his hand out to shake, and you shake it.

"This is my nephew, Jake." You turn to the other boy, having momentarily forgot of his presence. You reach out your hand, and he shakes it, saying a quiet "right-o." You presume he's British. "Right this way then," Mr. Egbert proceeds to lead you to your room, which contains two twin beds, about six feet apart. You immediately put your sword in the closet, and lift Dave up into the bed furthest from the door.

He takes only a few moments to fall asleep, and you suppose you should do the same. You try your hardest at sleep, but you end up lying flat on your back, staring at the ceiling. You don't notice when your eyes slip closed, and you drift into sleep.

* * *

You wake up at the time you usually wake up: 6:30. You normally have tons of chores, breakfast to make, and a three-year-old to calm down, so of course you wake early, and old habits die hard. You rub your eyes and sit up, looking over at your sleeping brother. He looks like he won't wake up for another hour, but just to be safe you put your pillow on the floor beside his bed. Dave tends to roll in his sleep.

You make no attempt to tame your hair before heading out of the room, trying to blink all tiredness away. You fail. You think you could be asleep by the time you finally navigate your way to the cabin's living room. Five people are already there.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The well is over there.

You are staring into five curious faces. Two of said faces are the faces of children about Dave's age, one with black hair that goes down to about the middle of her back, if she were standing up. Bright green eyes accompanied the thick hair. The next small child had thick black hair that was like yours in which it simply couldn't be tamed. It stuck up in a million different directions. This young boy had bright blue eyes that, you think, matches his hair in an icy kind of color scheme.

Next to the smaller girl sits the boy you met the day before; Jake was his name. He had emerald green eyes, unlike the bright green of the girl he sat next to. Next to Jake was a girl that looked about his and your age. She had shorter black hair that came down to about her chin, and lighter blue eyes. She was wearing a Betty Crocker shirt, which was a bit strange to you. You wait for Mr. Egbert to tell you who all these people were.

"Dirk, this is John, Jade, and Jane. You already know Jake. He gestured to each of the names mentioned, and you give them each a small nod in greeting, even though you know the two three-year-olds wouldn't know how to respond. You shake Jane, the older girl,'s hand, and move back to your original position at the door frame.

"You always wake up this early?" Mr. Egbert asks. You nod. "Good. Are you willing to help around the house until you have to go? We'd sure appreciate another set of hands." You give another nod. "So what first? Should I wake lil' D up?" "No need for that, Dirk. Let him get some sleep, he'll need it after all he's been through. Jake, would you show Dirk the well please? He will need to know where it is in order to do a lot of things here."

Jake nods and stands up, muttering another "right-o" as he lead you to the front door. You realize how much less freaky the forest looked in daylight. Not that you were freaked out before, of course. "Right this way, mate." Jake lead you to a path on the right wall of the house and started walking, checking back to make sure you were there every five or so steps.

You smirk, "I'm not gonna be eaten by wolves, dude." You see him shrug, "You may just be, mate," and he starts walking faster. You can see a buck-toothed smile on him and can't help a tiny smile yourself. "I have the same chance of being eaten by wolves as you. You would be walking at top speed if you were afraid you were gonna die," you know this has turned into a kind of what-if war, but you don't care.

"Aye, but the bloody wolves may just only fancy people they've never smelled before. Especially ones that reek of bloody smoke." You have caught up to him, and are practically side by side now. he buck toothed grin doesn't waver. "Nah, I've got my trusty sword. Ready to slice through some wolf. And are you, Jane, John, and Jade all siblings?" Jake stops and turns to you, "Blimey, no. John and Jane are my cousins. Uncle Egbert is their dad. Me and Jade are just visiting the cabin with them for the summer. We live in Texas, not Washington."

You take a second to process the information. "We're in Washington?" You know it sounds like a stupid question, but the location of your vacationing was a surprise that Dad kept to the grave, apparently. You had no idea how long you'd been driving, but it was apparently a long time if you're in Washington. "Why, of course, mate. Where else would we be?" "Texas," you say flatly.

"Oh. You live in Texas? What city?" Jake actually seemed interested, and the well seemed a mile away, so you continue to tell him about your life. "Yeah. Houston. I was gonna meet with my cousins, Roxy and Rose, in an unknown location for vacation. Dad never did tell me where we were going. What about you?" You're surprised you're even talking with someone. At all.

"Blimey, me too! Living in Houston, I mean. I wonder if I've ever seen you before. I do think I recognize you from somewhere," he look deep in thought, and you supposed you did as well. "Nah, I don't think so. I'm homeschooled, and I rarely leave the house since Dad works from home. Unless I randomly passed you at a grocery store or something, I don't think I've seen you."

"Right-o. I'm never in town anyways, so our meeting looks even more bloody unlikely. Grandpa's always taking me on trips around the world. Blimey, we're here already. That was bloody fast, mate." In front of you a stone well about three feet in diameter, and an angled roof atop two wood pieces on the rim of the well. It didn't look necessarily stable. You decide to mention the fact to Jake.

"It's not stable, so don't bloody push it over. Uncle'll make you up and build a new well if you do. I would know; me and Jane took all bloody day to build this one. Just don't lean on it, and you'll be fine, mate." You nod, "And how do I get water from this? I won't be very useful if I don't know, will I?" Jake smiles and hands you a rope, which he tells you to pull on.

You do just that and a bucket of clear liquid attached to the rope by a hook rises up to the top of the well. You unhook the bucket's handle. "Got it," you smirk and hand Jake the bucket, making sure not to spill any. "Do you happen to have a computer, by any chance? I know it's a random question, but I need to tell Roxy I'm not dead." "Of course I have a computer. I snuck it here, but one does not simply have less than one computer in their log-cabin-in-the-middle-of-the-bloody-woods at a time. I'll show you when we get back."

He smiles, and you follow him back to the cabin, where Jake puts the water bucket on the floor next to the door, and leads you to what you assume to be his bedroom. You see a regular old computer, and are naturally drawn to it. "Can I use Pesterchum?" Jake nods, and you log into your account, timaeusTestified.

timaeusTestified (TT)  began pestering  tipsyGnosalgic (TG)  at 7:18 

TT: roxy  
TT: roxy answer me  
TT: im not dead  
TG: of my god youre alive  
TT: thats what i just said  
TG: where are you?  
TT: im staying with this awesome family in the middle of the woods  
TG: this family is made up of humans right?  
TT: no duh sherlock  
TG: okay  
TG: you have to come back  
TG: but let everything die down first  
TG: so you cant come back before the end of summer, which is only a few months  
TG: but you gotta keep in contact so i have proof youre alive  
TG: got it?  
TT: got it cuz  
TG: good  
TG: ill pester you tomorrow night  
TT: k  
TT: bye  
TG: bye

Well at least she knows you're alive. You log out of your account and step away from the computer, "thanks, Jake. I owe you one. One what I don't know, but I owe you something." Jake starts smiling again, "no problem, mate. Any time." You both exit Jake's room, and you hear fussing. Dave-esque fussing. You thank Jake and head back to your room, immediately picking him up and rubbing his back to calm him down.

The crying stops after a minute, and you sit him on the bed. "What's the matter, lil' man?" You ask as quietly as possible, yet loud enough so he can hear. "Bro? Where are we? Where's daddy? I wanna go home," he whines, and you get on your knees in front of him, so you are eye-to-eye. "Daddy's gone for now, but we're staying with really nice people until he comes back. You'll love 'em."

Dave smiles a little, and holds his arms out, wanting you to pick him up. You pick him up and head out to the living room, where John and Jade are chucking a rubber ball at each other's heads. You set Dave down, and he clings to your leg. You nudge him toward John and Jade, "Come on, lil' dude. It's just a game. Go on," but it does the trick, and Dave walks over and starts tossing with the other kids.

You smell food, and head in that direction, wanting to help as much as you possibly can. You eventually find the kitchen, and see plates already filled with steaming food. Jane is baking something or other, and Jake is helping Mr. Egbert butcher a deer. "Can I help with anything?" you ask, not wanting to go anywhere near the dead animal. "Nope, you're good, lucky for you." Jane says, and you realize she has the same buck-toothed smile that her cousin does.

"Then what do I do? I'm sure you have something for me to do, instead of counting dust specks and staring at a wall." Jane shakes her head, "nope. Unless you can carry those plates to the dining room. It's just in the next room over, so I'm sure you won't get lost."

You nod and pick up as many plates as you can carry- two- and go to put them on the table. It wasn't even half through the day, and already you feel like the family you're staying with is accepting you. You're going to enjoy the rest of the summer more than you thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pesterlogs are a pain in the butt to format. I'm learning, I swear. Comment any suggestions of what I should do with any of my fics. Thanks ^u^


	3. Chapter 3

After the table is all set, you get the job of preparing the horde of three-year-olds to eat. It sounds way easier than it actually is. Dave is used to prepping for breakfast, so he's the first one ready. John and Jade, however, you have to get dressed. It takes ten minutes of getting kicked in the face to finally finish dressing them. After you have them seated, you tell Mr. Egbert, Jake, and Jane that you're done.

They sit down as well, and you're thankful none of them notice, or seem to care, that your hear looked like a tornado went through it and your shirt probably still had some ash on it. Mr. Egbert starts passing the plates of food around, taking small bits of each for himself. Once the food reaches you, you take a small bit off each plate and pass the food along.

Breakfast is eaten fairly quietly, and Mr. Egbert tells you that you can have the rest of the day to explore the house and some of the woods. You smile, thank him, and head down a hallway you've never been down before. You take a quick peek inside each of the five doors before moving on to the next. There wasn't much for you in this hallway; two of the rooms being bathrooms, and the next three being the rooms of Jane, John, and Mr. Egbert.

You head back into the dining room, and are glad to see everyone else has left. You don't want to walk in on a family conversation or anything of the sort. You start heading toward your room, taking note of others along the same hallway. You look around your room for anything else to wear, and stop when you reach under your bed. There's a wooden panel that looks quite a bit like a trap door there.

There's a knock at the door, and you immediately get your head out from under your bed and go to answer it. As soon as the door opens, Dave runs into your eyes, smiling. "How're you, lil' bro?" Dave turns and points to Jake, who was standing just outside your door. He was smiling, as per usual. "Hey Jake," you smirk. "Dave just wanted to see ya, mate. I was just making sure he got there alright."

You nod, resisting the urge to out Dave down because he was really heavy. "Well, thanks for making sure the lil' guy didn't get eaten by wolves. Also, I have a question." You want to know what is under your bed, so who better to ask. "Well, spit it out then, mate," Jake looks curious, so you can't back away now. "I was just looking around as you came in, and I saw this trap-door thing under my bed. Do you know what it is?"

Jake looks hesitant to tell you, but he seems to have decided to, "One does not simply have fewer than two computers in their cabin-in-the-middle-of-the-bloody-woods. The second is down there. I'll show you, if you want, mate." You nod, and Jake moves your bed over a few feet. He walks around it and lifts the wooden panel up, revealing a ladder. 

You start to climb down the ladder, and end up in a wood-paneled room with a desk. Atop the desk rests a laptop. Jake walks up to it and logs in, smiling the entire time. "Secrecy is an adventure, mate." You see him type in a long password, and the desktop pops up. You look up to see Dave looking down the hole at you. "I'll be up in a sec, lil' D." Dave nods and backs away, supposedly to sit on one of the beds. 

Jake checks a few things on his computer, and a familiar pink text catches your eye. "Jake, can I see somethin' for a sec?" Jake nods, and you click on the recent pesterlog. 

tipsyGnosalgic (TG) began pestering golgothasTerror (GT)  at 20:48

TG: hey jake

GT: roxy its almost 9  
GT: are you bloody mad  
TG: id like to think i am  
TG: but i really need to talk to you  
TG: like now  
GT: blimey  
GT: what do you need roxy?  
TG: i just watched the news and i think my cousins and uncle are dead  
GT: thats bloody awful, roxy  
GT: im really sorry :(  
GT: wait  
GT: you watch the news?  
TG: dont judge what i do in my free time  
TG: be glad i dont drink or do drugs  
GT: haha how do i know you dont  
TG: youll just have to trust me  
GT: well i have to go to sleep  
GT: and im really sorry about youre cousins and uncle, mate  
TG: yeah  
TG: thanks

tipsyGnostalgic (TG) ceased pestering golgothasTerror (GT) at 21:03

"Jake, you know Roxy?" Jake looked like he just had a moment of realization. "Oh, you mean that Roxy. I went to school with her for a year or so. She's bloody awesome. And apparently your cousin. Blimey, I should have made the connection earlier. Sorry, mate." He looks way sorrier than he should be. "Nah, dude, it's fine. I'm actually glad she knows you, so I can tell her where I am without her getting too confused."

Jake immediately looks happy again. You don't know how he even does that. He turns the computer off and you head up the ladder, sitting next to Dave. After Jake got up, you both move either side of the bed back into its original position. "Thanks, Jake, but you'll have to tell me that computer password soon or I may just explode. Jae laughed, "The password is 'thisismycomputersogetthehelloff'. That's actually what it is. Don't bloody judge me." He laughed again and left the room, closing the door behind him.

"What'd you do while I was gone, lil' guy? Were you bored?" Dave gives you a nod, and you smile and pick him up, setting him on your lap. You only smile in front of kids; you simply can't help it. They're innocent and young and it just makes you smile.

You spend the rest of the day playing with Dave. You toss a ball with him, make up stories that scare him to death but you shoosh-pap him back to calmness, and you even turn setting the table for lunch and dinner into a game. You consider this a successful day.

You lay on your back, staring at your bedroom ceiling. Your bed wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but it was all you had, an you're grateful for even that. Dave has long been asleep, thanks to a few stories from you and even a few from Jake and Jane. You close your eyes and fall asleep, slowly drifting out of consciousness.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> See you soon?  
> You got it.  
> ~  
> Roxy pulls some stunts, and very much succeeds in them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not confident in writing the POV of Roxy but I hope you think it's decent at least.

You wake up and look at your ceiling. Your mind is already spinning, and it's only the morning- you think. You check the little wizard clock on your bedside table. 12:38. Well, it's not morning. You get out of bed and get dressed, making sure to brush your hair before picking up your computer and opening Pesterchum. No one has pestered you, and all chums are idle, so you close your laptop and head downstairs.

You remember today is the day you have decided to tell Mom and Rose that Dirk and Dave are alive, but if Mom's not awake you wouldn't dare wake her. She could be vicious if she didn't have enough sleep. You make a quick batch of scrambled eggs and leave what's left on the counter for Mom. You head up to your room and hear the familiar ping of someone pestering you.

You open your laptop.

timaeusTestified (TT) began pestering tipsyGnostalgic (TG) at 12:56  
TT: roxy  
TT: you there?  
TG: yeah  
TG: what is it?  
TT: i just wanted to let you know who im staying with  
TG: um  
TG: ok who is it?  
TT: jake jane john and jade  
TG: holy crap  
TG: you mean jake english jane crocker john egbert and jade harley?  
TT: yeah i guess so  
TG: i know them  
TT: i know you know them  
TT: thats why im telling you  
TG: well thanks then  
TG: ill pester jake and jane soon  
TT: yep  
timaeusTestified (TT) ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic (TG) at 13:02

Holy crap. Your cousin is staying with your best friends from school, and their siblings. What an inconceivable coincidence. You decide it wouldn't be smart to pester Jane and/or Jake now, or else you'll look like an overeager creep. You've done it before, and you'd prefer not to repeat your past mistakes. You do miss talking to Calli though, so you decide to pester her first.

tipsyGnosalgic (TG) began pestering uranianUmbra (UU) at 13:09

TG: hey calli  
TG: i just wanted to say that im sorry for getting mad earlier  
TG: and im hoping youd forgive me  
UU: roxy  
UU: yoU were forgiven the moment yoU closed yoUr compUter after the fight  
UU: .. / ..-. --- .-. --. .. ...- . / -.-- --- ..-  
TG: aww thanks  
TG: so does this mean were friends again?  
UU: of coUrse ^u^  
TG: im glad  
TG: see you at/before school then?  
UU: of course ^u^  
TG: ... . . / -.-- --- ..- / ... --- --- -. / - .... . -.  
UU: ^u^  
tipsyGnostalgic (TG) ceased pestering uranianUmbra (UU) at 13:17

You shut down your computer and head into Rose's room, where you heard movement. You and Calliope were friends again. Thank god. She was one of your only friends. As you step into your sister's room, you see she has thrown her wizard toy out of the room, and is playing with the salamander stuffed animal and Jaspers, her kitten. She had Jaspers, you had Mutie.

Your mom was kind of a cat freak, so she gave you and Rose Mutie and Jaspers just this past New Years. Mutie is kind of like a child to you. She's your baby. Rose and Jaspers get along really well, and even though Rose is only three, she knows how to take care of him; other than the feeding and picking up the crap, of course. That's your job, of course.

Your mom is kind of a serious alcohol addict, and you try to keep Rose out of Mom's influence as much as you possibly can. Rose is an incredibly smart girl, like yourself, and you don't want her exposed to those kinds of bad things. Ever. "Heya Rose! Can I play with you and Jaspers?" She nods, "don't forget Viceroy Bubbles von Salamander! His feelings hurt when you forget him."

You smile, "of course. I would never forget dear Viceroy. Wait one sec, I gotta check something." You ruffle up her hair and head back into your room, having heard the pesterchum ping, or PP as you call it. Jane is online. Hmm.

tipsyGnostalgic (TG) began pestering gutsyGumshoe (GG) at 13:39  
TG: jane i know youre on  
TG: i gotta talk to you  
GG: yes roxy?  
GG: what is it?  
TG: you never told me my cousin was staying with you  
GG: what?  
TG: dirk  
TG: hes my cousin  
TG: that i thought was dead  
GG: i didnt know that  
TG: thats what id assumed  
TG: i just wanted to ask if i could visit you in the middle of nowhere  
TG: maybe bring dirky some clothes and dave some toys or something  
GG: its in washington, and ill give you the address  
GG: im sure itll be fine if you visit  
GG: its a house in the middle of the flipping woods in washington  
TG: wow youre helpful  
TG: i found it though  
GG: see you soon then?  
TG: you got it  
gutsyGumshoe (GG) is an idle chum

Welp, it looks like you're going to Washington. You guess you should talk to your mom first though. You head down the stairs slowly, seeing Mom with a martini in hand. Once you get all the way down the stairs and into the kitchen, she offers you a martini. You take it and put it on the counter behind you. "Mom, can I visit my friends in Washington?" You hate taking advantage of her drunken state, but this simply has to be done.  


"Yea. Of coa-cro-coursh sweetie," Mom says, leaning back against the counter for support. Almost all of her words were slurred together, but you have lived with her so long that you have taken it upon yourself to learn drunken language. You smile and nod, slipping her drivers license into your pocket. "Thanks Mom! I'm leaving now, okay? But I'll be stopping at Dirky's house first.  
Mom gives you a drunken smile and you head upstairs. You really are lucky you look so much like your mother. You're also lucky you know how to drive. You quickly pack up a week's worth of clothes for both you and Rose, and head to Rose's room. "Rose, we're going on vacation. Pick a few toys to bring with you." She only picks up VBvS and you head out, giving Mutie and Jaspers plenty of food first.  
You slip the car keys into your pocket and head out, bidding your mother goodbye. You're really too young to be pulling things like this, but you insist that it's for the greater good. You already have Mom's credit card to buy the plane tickets, the suitcase, and Rose. Everything's all set. You pack the suitcase into the trunk of the car and buckle Rose into her seat, climbing into the driver's seat.  
You take another look at Mom's picture on the driver's licence, just to make sure everything checks out. Name: Roxy Lalonde. Check. You're family nickname is RL2, for Roxy Lalonde II. Same name as your mother sure comes in handy. Height: 5'5. Check yet again. The rest of the information isn't really physical, so you're good. You put the key in the ignition and start the car, leaving your mother behind.  
You exit the car, locking it after you take Rose and the suitcase out. You ask Rose to walk herself, and she does so gladly. You pull the suitcase full of hers and your luggage, and Rose carries VBvS. You had picked up all the stuff from Dirk's old house yesterday, since everyone still kinda thought he was dead. You had packed Dirk and Dave clothes, since you knew they had but one outfit each.  
You buy two tickets direct flight to Seattle, which is the closest you can get to the forest Jane and Jake are staying in. The airport is surprisingly empty; leaving practically no one to question that you're not your mother. This was going to be easier than you thought. You load into the back row of the plane, putting your suitcase into the storage above the seats.  
Rose sits by the window, with you getting the aisle seat. You decline any offers of food or drink the airline ladies give you, and sit quietly until you reach Seattle. The airport there is slightly more crowded, and you buy Rose and yourself a salad each. Wouldn't want to act anything like your mother, especially at a time like this. You get a cab to drive you to the edge of the massive forest, and you hand the cabbie a wad of bills, taking Rose and your luggage out of the smelly car.  
You see the smoke from the chimney almost immediately, and head toward that direction. After about a mile, you're standing at the Egberts' cabin's doorway. You give your and Rose's hair a few brushes, and give the door two solid knocks, as your uncle had taught you to do. You hear footsteps, and the heavy door opens slowly, revealing the thin figure of your oldest cousin.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5 chapters in two different fanfics, in two days. you proud of meh? >:]

When you opened the door, the last people you expected to see were Rose and Roxy. How did they even get here? You put the thought aside to notice that she clearly knows that you're confused, and she's smirking and leaning on the doorframe. "Heya Dirky," you quickly correct your confused face so it's blank as per usual, "I was just comin' to check up on ya. Haven't been eaten by wolves yet, I see?"

You mutter something to yourself and look back at her. "How did you even get here?" You keep looking at her as you pick up Rose, who had run into your arms. "Shenannigans. All of them. I'm quite a smart person once you look past the idiots I'm surrounded by." You smirk. That's your cousin right there. "Well c'mon in, Rox," you let her by you, handing her Rose and taking the suitcase they'd brought.

"I'll put your stuff in my room until Mr. Egbert figures out the sleeping arrangements. Okay?" You start to head to your room, and you hear a "Mhmm" from Roxy. You put the suitcase next to your bed. "You think Rose'll be fine playing with three other kids?" You ask, looking at the little blond, who was clutching her salamander, which she had apparently named Viceroy Bubbles von Salamander.

"She'll be more than fine." You nod and Roxy puts down Rose, letting her wander to her own devices. You move your bed over and climb down the wooden ladder, dropping into the wooden room and logging into the computer there. Roxy looked confused for a moment, but followed you down the ladder. You barely even noticed her standing next to you; you were preoccupied.

timaeusTestified (TT) opened memo calling all members of the cabin in the woods  
CTT: dear god jane you were right  
gutsyGumshoe (GG) RIGHT NOW responded to memo  
CGG: of course im right  
CTT: the point is that rox is here  
CTT: of course i am  
CTT: oops  
tipsyGnostalgic (TG) RIGHT NOW responded to memo  
CTG: there we go  
CTG: of course im here  
golgothasTerror (GT) RIGHT NOW responded to memo  
CGT: hello, mate  
dadBert (DB) RIGHT NOW responded to memo  
CTG: oh crap  
CTT: oh crap indeed  
CDB: Get off of the machines and help cook dinner. We will set up for miss Roxy after you all eat, got it?  
CTT: yessir  
CTG: yessir  
CGT: yessir  
CGG: yessir  
current dadBert (DB) banned gutsyGumshoe (GG) from responding to memo  
current dadBert (DB) banned golgothasTerror (GT) from responding to memo  
current dadBert (DB) banned timaeusTestified (TT) from responding to memo  
current dadBert (DB) banned tipsyGnostalgic (TG) from responding to memo

Well at least you got the point across. You log off the computer and head up the ladder after Roxy. Neither of you say anything as you head to the kitchen, where Mr. Egbert is cutting up vegetables for the stew everyone's been looking forward to. "I'll get the kids," you say, and Mr. E nods, which you take as your cue to leave. You head to the living room, where Rose, John, Jade, and Dave are throwing things at eachother's heads.

"C'mon, guys. Dinner's cooking." You've been teaching John and Jade to do the same as you've taught Dave; which is to head to the kitchen and sit down to wait for dinner. Rose, luckily, has recieved such training from you already. They head into the dining room after you, and st in their seats. You sit next to Dave, "Rox, there's open seats. Don't panic." You smirk as she sits between you and Rose.

Jake and Jane join you within the minute, and you're all just sitting, waiting for Mr. Egbert to finish his stew. "So Roxy," Jane starts, "how exactly did you get here?" Roxy smirked, "Well, Janey. After I finished pestering you, I asked my drunken mother if I could come, and she, of course, said yes. I snagged her credit card and drivers license, packed, and drove to the airport. I just bought the tickets and flew over," she shrugged, but was smirking, "not really that hard."

"You drove? But you're thirteen. You shouldn't know how to drive at all," Jane was looking at her in awe, but now was your turn to but in. "It's a Strider/Lalonde thing. We're just that cool." You notice you're smirking as well, and that your face is probably a mirror image of Roxy's. The three-year-olds don't seem to be comprehending the unfamiliar words, so they just babble to eachother.

"Exactly, Dirky." You nod, and, as if on cue, Mr. Egbert entered the dining room carrying a crockpot of the stew. "Here you go, kids. Egbert's Famous Stew." He spooned the stuff into bowls in front of everyone, and eventually sat down. Dinner was fairly quiet, other than Mr. E asking Rox a few questions, and you quite frankly enjoy it very much. The stew is really good, but really filling, so you only eat one bowl.

After the dishes are cleaned and everything is in order, it is decided that Roxy will sleep in your room, and Dave and Rose will each sleep in one of the extra cribs in John and Jade's rooms; Jade with Rose and Dave with John. The setup works well, you think.

You're too tired to do anything other than breathe and sleep, so you crawl into your blankets and fall asleep almost instantly, mumbling a "g'night, Rox," as you drift off.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is soooooooo late! Sorry 'bout that!

Everyone else is asleep, and you guess you should be as well, but you know you won't be able to get back to sleep. You're sitting on the front steps of the Egbert cabin, wondering how your life came to this. Though you've only occupied the cabin for a month, you feel as if it's your home, which you guess it kind of is. You have absolutely nowhere to go. You hear the front door open and close, and a few thumps before someone sits next to you.  
Jake never could keep out of your mess of a situation, could he? You continue staring into the dark woods. "You alright, Strider? Gave me a right scare hearing footsteps at this hour." You shrug. Nothing better to do, really. But when you're bored, you always find yourself thinking back to the car crash; knowing that your lil' bro was the only one that you could save. Knowing that you would be alone if you failed, and you couldn't fail Dave. You just couldn't. You wouldn't know what to do with yourself.  
So now you've found the Egbert clan, and you intend to stay with them until you're old enough to get out. You'd have to go to school wherever the hell you are. You'd know nobody, and you'd have to leave Dave for a third of every day. The reality of it all threatens to drown you, and your mind swims. What are you going to do? Apparently, English can read your freaking mind: "guess you're stuck here for a bloody long time, right, mate? I swear I'm not as brute as I look."  
You shrug and say that he looks nothing of the sort. Not even close.  
"Dirk?"  
"That's the name."  
"What about your family?"  
Well, that's a sore subject if he ever did hit one. "Uhh... well, I have Rox and Rose and their mom, who happens to be the most alcoholic person I've ever met, so I don't really have anyone to go back to."  
"Blimey. I'm sure Grandpa will let you stay with us, seeing your godawful situation."  
"Really?"  
"Of course, mate! Anytime!"  
"Sure you have the space for that?"  
"Pish posh; we've got too much space! And even if we didn't, I'd find the fastest way to create the bloody room! It'll be an adventure!"  
Well, someone was excited. "Cool, dude. Thanks. Really."  
"Of course!" Jake pushes his glasses up, wrinkling his nose as he did so.   
Everything is a different shade of blue, thanks to the moon, but it was quickly changing from blue to grey as the moon slumped below the horizon and the sun tok the opportunity to jump up, taking its place. Jake takes this transition to explain about his family: how Mr. and Mrs. Egbert are having some issues, how he and Jade lives who knows where, and finally about Betty Crocker.  
You certainly hadn't known that Grandma Egbert/Crocker was the Betty Crocker. They must be rich. You look back towards the cabin as you hear voices. It seems that Mr. Egbert's turned on the news, but all you see is the picture of the flaming car through the glass. You immediately stand straight up, moving closer to the window to get a better look. As you'd thought, it was indeed your car crash.  
The headline reads Car Crashed on Highway; Children Missing. A second later, Jake's standing behind you, looking over your shoulder into the house. You hear a faint "oh," and you presume that your eyes are wide as saucers behind the fabulous anime shades you sport. You dart into the cabin just as the reporter utters the words "back to the story after the break." Stupid timing. Welp, now Dadbert knows you and Jake are awake at five in the morning, doing who knows what in the middle of the goddamn woods. But you can't help but wonder what's running through his head.  
You sit down on the fancy-ass couch, mildly frustrated. Jake sits on the remaining seat beside you, occasionally casting glances at both you and his uncle. After five minutes if dreadfully boring commercials, the news comes back on. Thank god. The unnaturally blond news lady starts blabbing about something completely irrelevant for a while before anything related to your crash comes up. This time, a brown haired man takes the screen.  
"Just moments ago, a devastating crash was discovered. Two have been found dead, while the children of Derrick and Diane Strider have apparently gone missing. They were known to be involved in the crash, and there is enough evidence to support that Dirk and David Strider have retreated into the nearby forests. If anyone has any leads related to the location of the Strider boys, please call 1-888-413-0314."  
Dadbert and Jake are both looking at you like you sprouted an extra head, and, looking at the image of the upside down fireball of a car, you can't blame them. You shrug, continuing to watch the screen. It seems that the car had exploded just a bit after you'd left it. Jesus. How much worse could it get? You must look like either a mass murderer or a hero in the eyes of everyone. To that, you would say "keep your eyes to yourself." Probably with a few words added in.  
You sit through a story about someone being an idiot, and then another. After tiring of the blatant idiocy, you start wandering the halls, hearing faint footsteps behind you after a moment. Probably just Jake again. Or a rat. Or a raccoon. Or a bear. But that is highly doubtful.  
You stumble across your own room, and slowly click open the door, leaving it halfway ajar so the clicking and squeaking of a closing door didn't wake up the entire forest. You feel for the familiar trapdoor, trying your hardest not to hit your head on something like an idiot. You only slam your head against the wall once. After you find the handle, you slide into the small underground room, logging in to the old laptop plugged in to the wall. You sit down in the swivel chair, spinning a few times before the server finally recognized you. The first thing you do is search for news in the search of you.  
Nothing.  
Good.  
You have a few things to do before you're released to the world. But the world can just go screw itself for all you care. You refresh the page. Still nothing. You lean back in the chair, opening up Pesterchum. You scroll through a few open memos, not daring to comment. Computer hackers are everywhere. And you mean everywhere. Unusually high levels of freakishly smart people out there now. After stalking yourself, you open Netflix, logging into your parents' account and selecting your profile. It's goddamn anime time.  
Right as you reach a particularly interesting part in this anime called Soul Eater, you feel ah and on your shoulder, making you immediately click the pause button and swivel around to face one Rox Lalonde. You honestly can't tell if you're disappointed or not. Nevertheless, you watch anime with your cousin at your shoulder for well over an hou before she says anything. "Dirk?"  
"Yes, my dearest cousin?"  
"Why the hell were you up at four in the morning?"  
You shrug, "couldn't sleep."  
"Maybe you should get some more sleep. You've got a long day ahead of you, you know. Dadbert's got us building shit all the day long. Gotta get your sleep or else you might pass out into the well."  
"Though you're probably right, keep in mind that I will protest against any acts of forced child labor," you stand up. Roxy's always been best at spoken arguments. After a few more seconds of pitiful protest, you climb up the ladder into your room, climbing into your bed and making yourself into a human burrito. Roxy nods and heads into the hallway with a hairbrush. You, however, close your eyes in a doomed attempt to sleep. The attempt is doomed for a grand total of three minutes before you're out cold, most likely snoring as well.  
~*~*~*~  
After however long, you're awake. Rox was right; those few extra hours of really did do you good. There's bright chatter echoing from the kitchen, and the and the sweet smell of cinnamon rolls drifts to your nose. You figure you've already changed, thanks to your five o' clock outdoor expedition, so you just stand up and slip on triangular shades, running a warm hand through pale, disshelved tufts of hair.  
As it turns out, Dadbert's cinnamon rolls are undoubtedly the best you've ever had. Sitting at the wooden breakfast table, you can't not listen to everyone else's quiet conversation. The two year olds babble in their chairs, occasionally fitting one or two words of actual human English in their speak. Dave's sipping contently on at a cup half full of apple juice. After typical morning conversations have ceased, Dadbert proceeds to explain the day's tasks: getting water, chopping down wood for whatever reason, and cleaning out the cabinets. However non-time consuming these jobs may seem, Mr. Egbert explains, they, in all actuality, take up most of the day.  
Jane is first assigned water duty, so she has the time and supplies for cooking lunch. Rox is assigned cabinet duty, but Dadbert probably doesn't know that she'll undoubtedly go for the liquor first. You and Jake are slapped with the exhausting assignment of using axes to put all of the unsuspecting trees out of their misery. And misery it is.  
Jake and Dadbert show you how to properly wield a massive metal axe, which you struggle to keep from falling and cutting one of your feet in half. You say you'll be back in a moment, running to get your lightweight and trusty katanas. As you get closer to your room, you hear a crash. You turn around to see your dearest cousin, sitting on the floor, completely wasted, with a broken glass at her side. She looks at it, wrinkling her nose. "Goddammit Rox," you lift her by the arms and half carry, half drag her to your room, sitting her down on her bed. Her pupils are dialated and flickering randomly around the room.  
"Are you kidding me, Rox? Can I just be able to leave you alone for one hour without you drinking yourself stupid?"  
"Praubublye rubly*... liek... probs nayt not*." Roxy then broke into a fit of squeaky drunken laughter.  
You know she's had a drinking problem since she started trying her mother's leftover drinks a few months ago, but you would have never would have thought that it would become this bad. "Roxy, I'm going to need you to come with me, alright?"  
"Fiiiiiinye."  
You help her up, picking up one shiny katana from where it lay on your bed. You hold Roxy upright by the waist, leading her outside and to the location of Dadbert and Jake, who were standing in silence. You sit Roxy down on a conveniently located stump, waiting to make sure she doesn't fall off onto her face. Again, Jake and Dadbert are wearing near identical looks of shock. "Um..." You run a hand through your hair, blinking, "she was left alone with a cabinet of alcohol. I recommend not making this mistake in the future." Rox hiccuped, grinning stupidly.  
Dadbert nods and tells Jane to finish explaining the wood chopping process to you, heading back in the direction of the cabin, leaving you to watch your cousin who was so drunk she probably didn't even remember her name. You guess all you can do now is hack at these poor trees, now.


End file.
